As you know My Darling Husband Chris, is looking for a job. He has a Bar-tending job, but that wont pay the bills. So he has been going to a lot of interviews, on of which was in Columbus. He went in, charmed them, went back for a second interview and got the job. He has a week to let them know if he really wants the job. And he does.
So that means moving. Moving from the place where I am most comfortable, close to my friends and family, and going 2 1/2 hours north. That is the Rock I'm up against, but my hard place is, I'm His Wife.
Ruth 1:16 "Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay."
I know that verse is Ruth talking to her Mother-in-Law, But it also applies to marriage.
If Chris wants the job in Columbus, then he will take the job. If he moves, I have to move. But I don't want to move. I hate moving, I hate change! I don't like big cities, I have no car, I would have no way to get around unless I walk and that is not going to go well living in a city. Now I know we wont live on Main Street above convenience store that gets robbed every night. Or next to a meth lab. Chris will find a decent place for us, but I just don't want to go. Lord I don't want to go.
Chris has two interviews today in other places that are about the same as the job in Columbus, but he is really leaning towards that one.
Last night I stayed up and cried and prayed. I don't know what to do. I want him to have a job he will like and that will pay our bills and put food in our kitchen, but I don't want to go.
If we move I will have to find a full time job somewhere, and that will be very hard for me. We can't live on one pay check. Not if the apartment we get is almost $700.00 a month. I have never wanted to have a full time job. That was not my plan after getting married. My plan was, Get married, Work a part time job til we were caught up enough, start an online business selling my crafts, then having some kids, then maybe one day, moving to a farm, living happily ever after.
But... Proverbs 16:9 "A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps."
I made my plans, and God is taking me another way.
I'm Stuck Between a Rock, wanting my husband to have a good job to provide for his family, and a Hard Place, not wanting to follow him but live my own dreams.
As I type this I am crying, I don't know what to do. I have to move if he moves, but it will not make me happy. This little apartment on Main St. with the noisy traffic and bakery smells has finally started to feel like a home to me. And it's getting taken away from me.
After taking a few minutes to think, cry, pray, and read this over...
I'm being very selfish. Very Selfish!!
If Chris wants the Job in Columbus, he can take it. I will move with him if I have to. No I will not be very happy at first, but I will be okay. Moving will not kill me and I have to look at it as God Has A Plan For Me, Him, US there! Maybe we could get an apartment with a balcony, where we can put a table and chairs and some potted plants and have Breakfast Au Fresco. Or maybe a small house, with two bedrooms, and a small yard where I can put in a small garden. I have to look at the bright side of this.
This will be a fresh start for us. Chris and I have been fighting a bit lately, and maybe this job will be our saving grace. Maybe with the extra money he makes we can get a second car, I'll get a job, save up the money, open a second savings account, and maybe even start our family.
"Oh Lord, Thy Will Be Done!"
I'm Putting This In Gods Hands Now!
If Chris Takes this job, then he takes it and God will provide. If he takes the job else where, Then God Will Provide!!
No I'm not too happy about not knowing what will happen, where I will be living in the next month, but God will help us. He has always brought us though the storms of our lives, He will guide us though this one.
"I'm Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place, But I some room to move." ;)
Prayers are needed, Love is accepted, Guidance is Welcomed.
Many Blessings to you and thanks for listening (reading)
~*Arielle*Caitlynn*~
Please note this is written with love and care; reading it, it may sound like I'm talking down to you or scolding you but please know that I am not <3
ReplyDeleteYou married him for better or for worse-I'm glad you realized how selfish you were sounding not wanting him to take that job...you prayed he would find a job right? God guided him to this job, is it really our place to complain now about the location? this economy it's hard to find a job and when you find one, you need to hop on it...As a christian, you know that the man is the head of the household and that (unless he's doing something dumb) you should follow and support him...everything that happens, happens for a reason; good or bad! Lessons to be learned, blessings to be thankful for...Even the smallest things you look back and are amazed at how they shaped you into a better person or guided you to an event in your life...So yes, you may move away, and yes, you will miss your family and friends...But when you said 'I do', you said that you would follow Chris and that he is now your family; first before all else. I can only hope and pray that you will get your dream someday...also, you made you life plans :-) haha, can you here God laughing saying, "I have something better planned."