Saturday, July 20, 2013

Being who I am.

 I'm not a math person, I'm not a science person, I'm not a history person, I'm not a chemistry, I'm not all that book smart, but you know what?! I can read, I can write, I can add, subtract, multiply and divide. I know enough science to get me by, as well as history. Chemistry, well I know not to mix bleach with anything, and I know how to make a small "boom". I am who I am. I am life smart. I cook, sew, knit, crochet, paint, sketch, keep house, work my butt off, I know how to care for Kids and animals. I pray, I love, I care, I get mad, But I'm an all around nice, happy person. I'm sorry, I didn't go to college. I was never good at paying attention. But who says you need a college degree to raise a family, homeschool, and be a wife and mother.

My little sister and Niece.

 I've been married for a little over a year now, and so far it's been good. Fights like always, but the next day we are going out to eat and laughing. We are moving! Down the street from where we are now, there is a 2 bedroom apartment for rent. It's only $25/mth more, and we can get a pet deposit! Not that we have a pet now, but it's nice to know we can get one. The place is about the same as my Darlings last apartment he lived in before we got married. Actually, it looks just like it only in the first set of units. It's two bedroom, with a nice big living room, a bigger kitchen, but no counter space, so I am going to get a small shelf for putting pots, pans and food on, and a bakers cart for my coffee corner. There is also a small patio. And the best part, I can plant a garden! I'm already thinking, getting some BIG pots, and making a box or two and planting some turnips, green beans, some pretty flowers and other late season plants. Oh and Pumpkins! 

I wasn't happy about moving at first. I like the place we are in now. Ac, Free water and gas for cooking and heat. Our neighbors are so quite, and it has become my home. Go figure as soon as I get settled and start calling this place my home, we pack up and leave. Oh well. I guess this will be good for us. My Darling will have an office space, so I can go from living room, to bed room with out disturbing him on the phone anymore. Our guests will have some more privacy when they stay the night. And I can have my garden and my darling can BBQ! No more mountain climbing to get the groceries up stairs, and no more 6am big rig trucks blazing through town under our living room windows with the engine brake on. Not sure how the neighbors are yet. I don't do well with neighbors that stay up til 5am yelling and screaming, or playing video games too loud, or music, or vacuuming. My upstairs neighbors did that. All of that. Every night. I went insane. But thank goodness this is a one level apartment unit. 
 In this new apartment, I can be who I really am with my garden. I can get dirty, and be happy about it. I can start a compost again, and not feel like crying everytime I have to throw away peelings or coffee grounds. They can go straight to my garden. Oh happy day!

The past month, pretty much, I have been home with my family helping to get the place ready for my Grandma and uncle to come visit. It was great. I worked in the garden, worked and played with the animals, got to spend time with my family like we used to. It was so nice. I miss working in a garden everyday with my momma, or going out to eat for lunch with my sister. Staying up and watching movies with my daddy. 
 Momma and I had a deal. And it still stands. When I come up to visit, I make dinner. And I'm ok with that. I made dinner every night. And it was never a repeat. Everyone sat down at the table to eat. No tv or radio. Just us. I loved that. I want family meals every night with my future family. No tv, no radio, unless it's classical or even big band music. Just the family, mommy, daddy, kids. Friends are invited, family too. A nice big almost 3-4 course meal. With Veggies, and meat and bread, and a salad. Always a salad. I want my family to know what a good dinner is. I don't want anyone to go to bed hungry, ever. Also, no soda. At dinner, it will be water, juice (apple, grape or orange, no koolaid.) milk or iced tea. No soda after lunch. Only on special occasions like BBQs or holidays. We will talk about our days. No cursing, or griping or complaining. Just talking. How was your day? "Good, had a run in with a coworker but noting too bad. How was yours?" "Fine, worked in the garden, went shopping, today the kids and I learned about the civil war!" Stuff like that. Think 1950's movies where the dad comes home the the table is set and everyone looks like a magazine cover. Only, the kids will probably have paint in their hair, their feel will be dirty from playing out side and the class room/living room will be filled with crafts and projects. But their hands and faces will be washed. I will have messy hair, tired eyes, and running eyeliner. But My Darling will still think I'm beautiful. (He has said so. ^_^) 
 Then after dinner, we will go out side for some play time, then take care of animals, then we will watch a movie, read the kids a story, bed time, then sleep. 
 Yes, I have had plenty of time to think about this. And I know, not everything will be the way I have imagined it. But it will come close.

Well, the time has come for the local college to start up again, so that means work. I have been hired FULL TIME! I will be working full time and will get a raise in my pay. With my darling, working weekends as a bartender and also full time in the kitchen, and me working full time and selling my creations at The Little Red Hen Gift Shop, we will be making so much more money, that we can save up for future baby and other things. I'm not too happy about full time work because I love my time off, but I'll take it so I wont have to work when I have kids.

So to end this long post, I want to just say,

 That Life isn't about Waiting for the Storm to Pass, it's about Going out and Dancing in the Rain.

In life you will go through so many storms, so many bad spots, and you may think life sucks and wont get better. But let me tell you. You will make it through. I have been through so much in just the past 91/2 years, and there is more crap to come, but I made it through and I know I can keep going. As long as I keep praying and have my amazing friends and family to go to, I can make it to the end of times. I know you can too. I pray that God gives you peace, and strength. Love and joy, but also tears. And that when you come out of the storm, that God gives you the knowledge and mindfulness of just how great life is. You really never know how great life is until you come out of a bad spot. Then you can look life in the eyes and stick out your tongue and say, "I made it, and I'm happy I did. You didn't beat me this time and you never will. Thank You GOD!" 

 So, be who you are but always strive to be your best. If you are a bad mood or are feeling low, smile and say something nice to a stranger, and see their smile, in that smile you will see that their day is worse than yours and you just made it better. Always remember, someone out there has got it so much worse than you, so treat others with care. Be Kind. 

 With so much Love, 
Arielle Caitlynn.

No comments:

Post a Comment